October 30, 2005

Happy Halloween

Body hanging from tree mistaken for Halloween decoration

FREDERICA, Delaware (AP) -- The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration, authorities said.

The 42-year-old woman used rope to hang herself across the street from some homes on a moderately busy road late Tuesday or early Wednesday, state police said.

The body, suspended about 15 feet above the ground, could be easily seen from passing vehicles.

State police spokesman Cpl. Jeff Oldham and neighbors said people noticed the body at breakfast time Wednesday but dismissed it as a holiday prank. Authorities were called to the scene more than three hours later.

"They thought it was a Halloween decoration," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor William Glanden, told The (Wilmington) News Journal.

"It looked like something somebody would have rigged up," she said.

October 27, 2005

"One nation, under God"–whether we like it or not

"I pledge allegiance to my flag and the republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

No, that’s not the latest attempt by the liberal secular elite to drag God out of the public square–it’s actually the Pledge of Allegiance as it was originally penned. In 1892, Francis Bellamy wrote it for a children’s magazine in celebration of the first Columbus Day–and he didn’t mention God, or even country.

A century later, the mere suggestion of removing “under God” from the Pledge is politically and culturally explosive. In 2002, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals caused an uproar when it ruled in favor of Michael Newdow, a California atheist who charged reciting the Pledge with “under God” in his daughter’s public school was an unconstitutional government endorsement of religion. President Bush and a nearly unanimous Congress formally denounced the decision, calling it a ridiculous attempt to “strip our nation of our proud heritage,” in the words of Rep. Tom Delay, R-Texas.

On appeal, the Supreme Court dismissed the case on procedural grounds, stating Newdow did not have legal custody of his daughter and therefore lacked standing to sue on her behalf.

Now, Newdow is back, and his argument against “under God”–this time on behalf of three other California parents and their children–has persuaded another federal district judge, ruling in Sacramento, to follow the Ninth Circuit’s precedent. Newdow and many others hope the case will reach the Supreme Court and, with technical snags mended, at last force the high court to address, if not settle, the constitutional matter.

Questions over the Pledge’s constitutionality center on whether it violates the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment, which states the government “shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.”

In a 1992 Supreme Court decision declaring prayer at a high school graduation ceremony unconstitutional, Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote for the majority that the Establishment Clause “guarantees that government may not coerce anyone to support or participate in religion or its exercise.”

Later cases involving religious invocations in public schools have used this standard of coercion in determining Establishment Clause violations. In 2000, for instance, the Court ruled prayer at high school sporting events coercive because it forced non-Christians to either proclaim religious beliefs they did not hold, or perform an act of public protest.

Supreme Court rulings going back more than 40 years on prayer in public schools overwhelmingly find it unconstitutional–even when the prayer is optional, implied, student-led or held outside the classroom on school grounds or during school-sponsored events.

The squabbling, then, comes down to whether the Pledge’s invocation of God constitutes “prayer.”

One of the “under God” supporters’ favorite arguments is that the phrase is a symbolic acknowledgment of the nation’s so-called “Christian heritage”–basically, that it serves as an expression of patriotism and national unity, not religion.

Setting aside the fact that the Framers never mentioned God in the Constitution (they even shot down Ben Franklin’s suggestion of opening each day of the Constitutional Convention with a prayer), to evaluate whether the Pledge is indeed a state establishment of religion, it is illuminating to look at the genesis of “under God.”

By the 1920s, the Pledge had become a schoolroom staple nationwide. In 1923, “the flag of the United States of America” replaced “my flag” out of concern over immigrants using it as a loophole to remain loyal to their home countries.

“Under God” came into the Pledge during the 1950s. The Cold War communist Red Scare had kicked patriotism into overdrive in Washington, and nationalism increasingly fused with religion. Following a lobbying campaign by the Catholic Knights of Columbus organization in 1953, Rep. Louis Rabaut, a Michigan Democrat, introduced a bill to Congress proposing to add “under God” to the Pledge.

The movement took off in 1954 when a Presbyterian pastor at the church President Eisenhower attended delivered a sermon that argued naming the United States in the Pledge wasn’t enough to distinguish Americans from the godless communists over in the Soviet Union. “In fact, I could hear little Moscovites repeat a similar pledge to their hammer-and-sickle flag with equal solemnity,” Rev. George Docherty reportedly said, before urging the addition of “under God” to rectify matters.

Ike liked what he heard, and enunciated his support for the “under God” bill. The bill’s legislative history reveals it aimed to “acknowledge the dependence of our people and our Government” upon a Creator, and “deny the atheistic and materialistic concept of communism.”

The bill passed overwhelmingly, and Eisenhower signed it into law on June 14, 1954 (appropriately enough, Flag Day). “From this day forward,” he declared, “the millions of our schoolchildren will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural schoolhouse, the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty.”

How’s that for a government endorsement of religion? Congress even took up constitutional amendments several times throughout the decade to affirm that America obeyed “the authority and law of Jesus Christ,” but obviously none got off the floor.

In 1955, Congress ordered “In God We Trust” printed on the backs of all paper currency. In 1956, “In God We Trust” replaced “E Pluribus Unum”–“out of many, one”–as the national motto, throwing a decidedly large wrench into the argument that lawmakers of the time had purely nationalistic motives for inserting references to God into public life.

Whether any of this will matter if and when the modern Supreme Court takes up the constitutional question of whether “under God” signifies patriotism or prayer, however, remains doubtful.

Given “under God’s” history, Newdow’s argument seems reasonable enough. “All [the Supreme Court] has to do is put the pledge as it was before, and say that we are one nation, indivisible, instead of dividing us on religious basis,” he told the Associated Press.

But with contemporary opinions augmented by 50 years of tradition, a resurgence of overt patriotism post-Sept. 11, 2001, another protracted “crusade” against ideological “evildoers” and a much-touted religious revival in political and social life, “under God” seems unlikely to be cast out any time soon.

Though the changing composition of the Supreme Court makes for some measure of uncertainty, public opinion solidly favors the status quo. Polls conducted from the 2002 Ninth Circuit decision to the present have consistently found nearly 90 percent of Americans favor keeping “under God” in the Pledge. Any ruling to remove it, however well reasoned legally, would surely be met with cries of judicial tyranny.

Should “under God” be struck down by the high court, legislators with more than a passing interest in re-election would likely revert to their 2002 pattern of adopting resolutions denouncing the ruling and calling for constitutional amendments to effectively overrule it. Debate on such measures would not be worth the moniker, as candidates have been “swift-boated” for far less than supporting something so unpatriotic as defacing the Pledge.

Though the arguments for its exorcism are persuasive, sharp political thorns will likely discourage leaders in any branch of government from attempting to drive “under God” from the Pledge. For be it religious or patriotic rite, at this point “under God” is undeniably more than a couple of words.

October 25, 2005

At least it beats Ugg boots

"I know this is a trying time for our military spouses (because really, only married people matter)," Bush said at a Joint Armed Forces Officer Wives' luncheon at Bolling Air Force Base. "We've lost some of our nation's finest men and women in the war on terror(, which Iraq had nothing to do with until I got all war-happy and decided to invade it)."

"And the best way to honor the sacrifice of our fallen troops is to (kill more of them,) complete the mission and lay the foundation of peace by spreading freedom (with tanks and torture)," he said. ...

Bush sought to emphasize Iraq's progress in a second event of the day, appearing in the Oval Office beside Massoud Barzani, the president of the autonomous region of Kurdistan in northern Iraq. The two stood to offer reporters and photographers a view of Barzani's traditional Kurdish outfit–a khaki jacket tucked into matching, loosely pleated pants adorned by a knotted sash at his waist and a red-and-white headdress.

"It wasn't all that long ago if he had of worn this outfit and was captured by Saddam Hussein's thugs he would have been killed for wearing it," Bush said. "He feels comfortable wearing it here because we're a free land. He feels comfortable wearing it in his home country because Iraq is free."


So, is this the latest rationale for war? Two thousand Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians have died to date for the sake of fashion? Oh, well, I feel much, much better now. At least the survivors can be comfortable and the corpses can be well-dressed. Fucking moron.

Speaking of, no wonder dear old Dick Cheney has been clocking in a lot of time at the undisclosed location as of late–apparently the CIA leak investigation has turned Veepward. And as for Mr. Libby, never mind the potential federal perjury charges and whatnot–how much would it suck to have the entire country know you as "Scooter?" I hope we get some indictments soon, so maybe, just maybe, someone will start calling this "Scootergate." Because that would rule. Though good luck to Karl, Scooter and the gang in getting mugshots anywhere near as smug-son-of-a-bitchin' snappy as Tom DeLay's. Especially with Rove flashing his brights at reporters all the time. Does Rove even show up on conventional film, or would they need one of those special thermal evil spirit detectors?

We had a political editor from NPR as a guest speaker in one of my classes today, and he said his theory is that Cheney will resign by midterm election time so Condi Rice can get the No. 2 spot in preparation for a 2008 run. Now that's freakin' scary to think about. He also said he thinks the tide has shifted decisively in the last week and Miers won't be confirmed, due in large part to incurring the wrath of Sen. Arlen Specter with that whole Griswold v. Connecticutuit debacle. Whadya know, Dubya, apparently that's what happens when you nominate a woman so any criticism is deemed sexist, and nominate one of your administration insiders so you don't have to give up any information on her whatsoever.

This NPR editor also said employers in the political journalism field are hesitant to hire young women because so many leave within a few years to raise families. Could it be that hating children and being someone no one will ever love will actually be selling points for me in job interviews? Rock.


Oh, and to the "Campuses Against Cancer" people who were out on Library Mall last week: Which campuses are for cancer? None seem to print that in their recruiting literature, and I'd like to know just in case I ever go completely insane and consider grad school.

October 10, 2005

Web wrongness roundup

As if moviegoers weren't annoying enough, now we've got religious nutjobs with flashlights playing President Bush and taking down divine dictation. Check out the 'March of the Penguins' Leadership Workshop. Now, I realize He's a deity and all, but it really is awfully rude of God to be talking during a movie.

And forget Atkins and South Beach for buring off that movie theatre popcorn- sweat to the scriptures! Just set aside the fact that by definition an infinitely perfect God wouldn't need to eat, and meet the Maker's Diet. Good god.

And finally, please allow me to play Joan Rivers for a moment and ask Bush's "personal lawyer" and Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers what in the unholy hell she was thinking posing for photographers dressed like some kind of creepy old deranged anime school girl. I did NOT need to see this with my morning news, and it certainly does not persuade me that this woman should be given a seat on the highest court bench in the land. Seriously, if beloved children's book character Madeline grew up into a bitter, dowdy middle-aged woman, this is what she would look like.

Capture the flag

A federal judge in California recently followed precedent set last year by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and declared teacher-led recitations of the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools unconstitutional religious coercion, igniting a cultural rematch over the line “one nation, under God.”

Perhaps a fitting metaphor for the "under God" skirmish is a literal game of capture the flag, with the "blue" and "red" teams competing to lash their ideals to Old Glory and the communal definition of what it means to be American.

God is, of course, on the red team, which makes for a pretty tough defensive line. As one of the "deitistically unencumbered" ("atheist" is such an ugly word), I instinctively root for the scrappy heathens in blue, fighting to keep one faith from claiming patriotic authority and leaving everyone else on the civic sidelines.

That's why it pains me to say I've never found the phrase "under God" particularly offensive.

I went through much of elementary school mechanically reciting the Pledge, wondering in the back of my mind just what exactly a "legiance" was, anyway, and why the flag needed so many of them. But mostly I just daydreamed.

When the Pledge fell out of the classroom routine during the 1990s, I didn't think about it again until I had to–when I was a senior in high school, just after Sept. 11, 2001.

When I first heard of the post-9/11 Pledge revival, I thought it was harmless, flag-waving fluff. But then, things began to snowball as patriotic appeals started accumulating more religious rhetoric.

By the time I arrived at school Sept. 14 on the presidentially decreed "Day of Prayer and Remembrance," I had a vague sense of unease at already being a bad American for conscientiously objecting to half that directive.

I then discovered my school's version of "remembrance" entailed hanging tacky red, white and blue streamers in the halls and putting Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A." on repeat play over the loudspeakers between classes. Otherwise, were told not to take up instructional time discussing current events.

By the time the fourth period announcements came on, the Pledge and "under God" were looking just as hollow, and I knew there was no way I could stand for them.

Though I can't say listening to "under God" from my chair truly upset me that day or any other, from then on I always heard it.

Every weekday, "under God" reminded me that division is as much a part of America as unity. Neither the blue nor the red team can capture the flag as long as this country remains a multi-faith democracy–it’s the battle itself that defines what the flag stands for as a common national symbol.

As the weeks passed, I developed a kind of rebellious pride in sitting out the Pledge, in the daily nod I exchanged with the faux-hawked, nail polish-wearing Anarchist-in-training across the room.

I may have missed the bandwagon patriotism of the moment, but I had caught another great American value: independence.

October 05, 2005

My small kitchen appliances proudly support cancer

This madness has to freaking stop. Last week in Target I spotted Energizer batteries with little pink ribbons printed on them. Yes, breast cancer awareness batteries. Never mind that you can't see them to proclaim support or raise awareness when they're installed in anything. The thing that bugged me was that they were the same price as regular batteries with no pink ribbons. So, if you don't choose the ones with the pink ribbons on them, your only possible motive can be full-on support for tumorous growths.

Then today, I get this in my Inbox:


Apparently, we all have to live in Barbie houses now to be sufficiently anti-cancer. I just don't understand this - if you care about cancer research, write a freaking check to a cancer research foundation. (And hey, while you're at it, get really crazy and don't tell anyone you did it.) Don't slap ribbons on your car or bands on your wrist or ugly-ass pink blenders on your kitchen counter- nobody cares, and it doesn't do a damn thing for anyone with cancer.

Besides, it's not like we need some massive marketing campaign to convince the masses that cancer is not a pleasant thing. And why must "survivors" display these things as well? Is it really not enough that they're alive? What do they want besides, cookies? Come to think of it, all they're advertising is the fact that they probably have either a faulty genetic code or some pretty bad lifestyle habits and enough money to have modern medicine correct for it all.

But don't listen to me, I'm just a horrible person whose kitchen electrics are not explicitly anti-cancer. They have also not taken positions on dead U.S. soldiers, genocide or starving paraplegic orphans.

October 04, 2005

Legislators, marriage amendment should take some time apart

(This is one of several editorials, columns and news analyses on the "culture war" theme I'll be posting over the next few months from a journalism class.)

Right-wing Wisconsin legislators pushing a state constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriages and civil unions need to re-evaluate their righteous agenda.

Both houses of the current Republican-led Legislature must pass the amendment before their session ends in June 2006 to send it before state voters that November–when, coincidentally we're sure, several prominent Democrats, including Gov. Jim Doyle and Sen. Herb Kohl, are up for re-election.

In March, the previous session of the Legislature voted 88 to 40 in favor of the amendment. But in the volatile theater of culture war politics, battles can turn rather quickly. Just look at Massachusetts.

Like Wisconsin, Massachusetts requires constitutional amendments to pass two consecutive legislative sessions, then a voter referendum.

In response to the February 2004 Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling that upheld the November 2003 decision granting same-sex couples the right to marry, state legislators passed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage but allowing civil unions with a 105 to 92 vote in March 2004.

More than 6,600 legal same-sex marriages later, the amendment came up for its second round this month and was roundly defeated, 157 to 39.

One of the amendment's original sponsors, Republican Sen. Brian P. Lees, was among the legislators who voted for the amendment the first time, then switched teams. Lees said he changed his mind after hearing from thousands of constituents and realizing same-sex marriage was established law, and repealing it would be an action against state residents.

Plus, as Lees was quoted as saying in The New York Times, "Gay marriage has begun and life has not changed for the citizens of this commonwealth, with the exception of those who can now marry who could not before."

So, same-sex couples got married, stayed that way for nearly two years... and the world didn't end. Neither did traditional marriage or the fundamental social order. Massachusetts didn't see so much as a measly plague of locusts.

Perhaps the horsemen of the moral apocalypse are riding in from the west, where those "girly men" in the California Legislature just became the first in the nation to pass a bill granting civil marriage rights to gay couples, in defiance of "Governator" Arnold Schwarzenegger's veto vow. But as of press time, California still hadn't crumbled into the ocean.

If other states' experiences don't compel our Capitol conservatives to drop their drive for a gay marriage ban, given all their talk of defending tradition, they should look back on our own. In 1982, Wisconsin became the first state to ban housing and employment discrimination based on sexual orientation. We tossed our archaic anti-sodomy law off the books by 1983. In 1998, we became the first state to send an openly gay first-time candidate, Tammy Baldwin, to Congress.

We think there's something slimy about hooking a squirming issue like same-sex marriage onto our constitution to gratify current politicians fishing for the famed "values vote" spawned in the 2004 presidential race.

Surely our fine Republican majority can find more useful ways to spend time, taxes and political capital.

If not, we can point them in the right direction at the polls.