Surely you jest

It occurred to me the other day after reading the AP account of Mitt Romney's remarks likening service in Iraq to his sons' campaign work: We've officially reached the point where actual, legitimate, journalistic coverage of the presidential race reads like an Onion article.

The thought is almost too horrific to even entertain. But could one byproduct of the too-involved, too-early presidential campaign be that, thanks to the sheer volume of "news," primary parody gets pre-empted and rendered obsolete?

Mainstream reporting and mainstream publications have given us the Flying-Irish-Setter-On-The-Wind story; the Hillary Clinton cleavage story; the John Edwards $400 haircut story -- all with the blanks filled in by the candidates themselves.

Just take a look at what you can do with only a bit of paragraph rearranging on the aforementioned Romney story:

BETTENDORF, Iowa --Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney on Wednesday defended his five sons' decision not to enlist in the military, saying they're showing their support for the country by "helping me get elected."

"The good news is that we have a volunteer Army and that's the way we're going to keep it," Romney told some 200 people gathered in an abbey near the Mississippi River that had been converted into a hotel. "My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard."

He added: "One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."

Romney noted that his middle son, 36-year-old Josh, was completing a recreational vehicle tour of all 99 Iowa counties on Wednesday and said, "I respect that and respect all those and the way they serve this great country."

Romney's five sons range in age from 37 to 26 and have worked as real estate developers, sports marketers and advertising executives. They are now actively campaigning for their father and have a "Five Brothers" blog on Romney's campaign Web site.

Romney, who did not serve in Vietnam due to his Mormon missionary work and a high draft lottery number, was asked the question by an anti-war activist after a speech in which he called for "a surge of support" for U.S. forces in Iraq.

The woman who asked the question, Rachel Griffiths, 41, of Milan, Ill., identified herself as a member of Quad City Progressive Action for the Common Good, as well as the sister of an Army major who had served in Iraq.

"Of course not," Griffiths said when asked if she was satisfied with Romney's answer. "He told me the way his son shows support for our military and our nation is to buy a Winnebago and ride across Iowa and help him get elected."

It's plausible yet outlandish; a spot-on illustration of candidate spin, hypocrisy and narcissism run amok, complete with punchline quotes and subtle jabs at the modern craft of reporting. Ask the "too perfect" candidate why his too-perfect sons aren't serving in Iraq; get an answer about how said sons are serving their country by road-tripping through caucus country in the Mitt-Mobile. Toss in some incriminating backstory, then follow up with the questioner. It's classic.

In fact, all it's missing is a photo illustration and someone quoted as saying, "RV, Humvee, what's the difference?"

Whether this means anything, I can't say. All I know is it's a dark day for our democracy when presidential candidates can just waltz in here and steal jobs from hard-working satirists who are only trying to make ends meet and synapses fire.