Eat me!

This is the single greatest money-making idea that has ever been devised by mind of man: http://www.savetoby.com

An open letter

To Oostburgian Republican State Rep. Daniel LeMahieu:

I think your proposal to ban University Health Services from advertising, possibly even providing emergency contraception on the grounds that it promotes risky behavior is a simply splendid idea.

I think you should also work to stop the unrestricted sales of Kleenex and antibiotics, because they encourage abstention from hand washing.

And how about banning Band-Aids, sutures and emergency surgery? Their mere immoral existences induce people to juggle X-acto knives and gargle rusty nails.

My fellow Americans,

How did it take me more than a year to discover that my favorite column ever was picked up by U-Wire? So much rock.