Floating in zero gravitas
Why I love America: Interest in the House Page program has reportedly swelled since the Mark Foley scandal.
As Speaker Nancy Pelosi's spokesperson Drew Hammill said, "I don't think it's surprising. It's an incredible opportunity for a high school junior to come to the Capitol and be so close to the legislative process." And how.
Is it a coincidence this revelation emerges around the same time as the crazed astronaut love triangle story that's been gripping the nation like a sturdy set of hardware-store improvised kidnapping implements?
Think about it: NASA's constantly struggling financially while the terrestrial cowboys in the Defense Department get an (ever-expanding) open range, Earth's orbit is becoming critically saturated with shiny but deadly refuse, an entire planet got "plutoed" -- what better to raise an agency's profile than a tawdry tale of betrayal, malice and wallowing in one's own excretions in hopes of winning a strapping spaceman's affections?
(If Captain Nowak had stopped off at Crawford, then it really would have been suspicious.)
And wanting to be an astronaut when you grow up has been free-falling out of vogue since the Cold War ended -- but what bright-eyed young scamp firing bottle rockets at wildlife and passersby in Middle America wouldn't toss aside all dreams of becoming president upon hearing of such a glamorous, dramatic alternative?
Now NASA just needs to take a cue from the military and re-design its uniforms to better attract new recruits, and heighten the appeal of existing staff. For voluminous silhouettes are at long last reportedly over, and a waist truly is a terrible thing to waste.
Until that terrorist "platoon of lesbians" hell-bent on killing us all develops spaceflight capabilities and the funding climate shifts, what else does NASA have to do with itself?
As Speaker Nancy Pelosi's spokesperson Drew Hammill said, "I don't think it's surprising. It's an incredible opportunity for a high school junior to come to the Capitol and be so close to the legislative process." And how.
Is it a coincidence this revelation emerges around the same time as the crazed astronaut love triangle story that's been gripping the nation like a sturdy set of hardware-store improvised kidnapping implements?
Think about it: NASA's constantly struggling financially while the terrestrial cowboys in the Defense Department get an (ever-expanding) open range, Earth's orbit is becoming critically saturated with shiny but deadly refuse, an entire planet got "plutoed" -- what better to raise an agency's profile than a tawdry tale of betrayal, malice and wallowing in one's own excretions in hopes of winning a strapping spaceman's affections?
(If Captain Nowak had stopped off at Crawford, then it really would have been suspicious.)
And wanting to be an astronaut when you grow up has been free-falling out of vogue since the Cold War ended -- but what bright-eyed young scamp firing bottle rockets at wildlife and passersby in Middle America wouldn't toss aside all dreams of becoming president upon hearing of such a glamorous, dramatic alternative?
Now NASA just needs to take a cue from the military and re-design its uniforms to better attract new recruits, and heighten the appeal of existing staff. For voluminous silhouettes are at long last reportedly over, and a waist truly is a terrible thing to waste.
Until that terrorist "platoon of lesbians" hell-bent on killing us all develops spaceflight capabilities and the funding climate shifts, what else does NASA have to do with itself?
posted by Holly at 7:45 PM
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