Surge with confidence

If President Bush's aides actually read the news once in a while, they just might find what they're looking for -- no, not new employment, drink specials or even a hot date in the "Masochists With No Standards Seeking Neocon Tools" column, but the holy chalice itself, the key to victory in Iraq:

With a gray sky as a backdrop, Vice President Dick Cheney arrived in Ligonier Township on Monday to spend the day hunting at the Rolling Rock Club.

... Also in the hunting party were former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum; Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association; and Tom Hicks, CEO of Dallas-based Hicks Holdings...

For who needs 20,000 more rank-and-file soldiers when you've got Cheney and Santorum brandishing firearms? Add a few more defeated GOP lawmakers and you'd have yourself a regular combat company, quelling civil unrest like it was meant to be quelled.

And, my, what a strapping band of huntsmen must this lot make. So much dreamy, I wouldn't know what to jump first.