Can you list "The Decider" on a resume?

Amid all this talk of '08 plans and "lame duck" President Bush, the subject came up the other day: Just what is W going to do when his presidency is up?

One can't really see him going the philanthropic or diplomatic route like the other ex-presidents. Think tanks aren't the most compatible option. Pundits have to pay attention to the news, at least in passing. And what enterprise would seriously want 43 on board for any kind of advising or consulting work?

But the fact remains, all that brush in Crawford will eventually be cleared, it's an ecological inevitability. Here are some post-White House posts our commander in chief might find inspiring:

• Free-range embryo rancher -- the pro-life, organic alternative to "fetal farming."

• Directing the George W. Bush Institute For Socio-Linguistic Cultural Studies And Frolicking With Puppies.

• Wal-Mart stockboy. If he starts now, he might live to get one of them fancy polo shirts.

• Prophet, chaplain, televangelist, etc. Who else gets paid for actively opposing reality?

• Move over, Garden Weasel -- hello, Bush-Whacker.

• Wiggle-in-waiting.

• Motivational speaker/counselor. Qualifications? Starting an un-winnable war and enduring years of majority disapproval as leader of the free world without turning into a raging alcoholic and/or slitting his goddamn wrists.

• Someone needs to color in all those books soon to be shelved at the George W. Bush Presidential Library.

• Blogger.

• Playing Jack Bauer's long lost, mildly autistic brother on "24."

• Anti-pretzel lobbyist.