Trimming the rhetorical fat

It appears as though the CDC is considering tossing its "fuzzy language" labeling overweight and obese children as "at risk of overweight" and "overweight," respectively, and applying the traditional adult classifications to the nation's not-so-little ones.

While the child-specific terms had been used to shield tender if tubby ears from negativity, doctors fear it has served to downplay a serious health threat to millions of kids for the sake of sparing feelings.

For of course, science must ever be weighed against the all-important self-esteem. And for those who think the "overweight/obese" distinctions are indeed too insensitive, buck up–it could be worse...

Top 10 rejected CDC classifications for obese children:

10. paunchy young patriots

9. gross

8. exceedingly well-fed citizen youth of the greatest, most prosperous nation on Earth

7. fat sack-of-craplets

6. distended with freedom

5. Karl Rove's extra plump, extra special main course

4. real kids

3. Cheneys-in-training

2. husky moppets

1. unless they shape up, no good to the armed forces