Temporary solutions to permanent problems

Three "enemy combatants" being indefinitely detained at Guantanamo succeeded in offing themselves with nooses improvised from clothing and linens Saturday, marking the first deaths among the more than 450 detainees being held there, many for the past 4 and-a-half years.

Of course, according to the military, despite the fact that only 10 of the detainees have been charged with any crimes, they are all still terrorists hell-bent on destroying America, and even their suicides are all about us:

"They are smart, they are creative, they are committed," Admiral Harris said. "They have no regard for life, neither ours nor their own. I believe this was not an act of desperation, but an act of asymmetrical warfare waged against us."

Yeah, what cold-hearted ingrates–is that any way to thank a country that has housed you without charge or explanation since 2002, force-fed you with extra-wide tubes and custom restraint chairs and created a special classification beyond the laws of any nation, even the laws of war itself, just for you?

Come on, boys, unless and until the Supreme Court rules this summer that we can charge you in our federal court system and seek the death penalty, show some respect for the sanctity of life.

In other news (into which a joke about mass quantities of virgins would be far too easy a segue), a bunch of bloggers convened in Las Vegas over the weekend to mingle with the Democratic Party B-list and court the mainstream attention they claim to disdain at the "Yearly Kos" convention.

Amid turning to drooling fanboys and girls around Maureen Dowd while simultaneously deluding themselves that they enjoy even a shaving of the readership or opinion leadership her kind commands, no doubt they also took a moment to communally marvel at how, removed from their natural habitat in the self-aggrandizing ether of cyberspace, they're really just a dowdy bunch of middle-aged armchair politicos largely preaching to (or molesting) the choir.