Cruisin' for a bruisin'

We know we're living in truly disturbing times when legislative agendas are being set by whack-job Scientologist celebrities.

A bill supposedly inspired by Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their penchant for taking at-home ultrasounds of their gestating freak fetus passed the California Assembly Thursday, banning the sale of the $200,000 imaging machines to non-professionals.

Apparently lawmakers were worried this would start a broader national trend among wealthy and over-involved parents–and when they're already getting portraits of their spawns in utero at mall kiosks and reserving domain names for their progeny to theoretically bore and disgust the entire wired world with updates on their growth, imitating the Cruise family isn't such a leap.

"Having an ultrasound once, twice during the course of a pregnancy, there is no danger," said [a spokesman for the bill's author, Democrat Ted Lieu]. "But too much or too often could cause the liquids in the womb to heat up, which could cause damage to the mother and fetus."

I suppose that would be good to avoid, but come on–if your father is Tom Cruise or anything like him, overheated amniotic fluid is by far the least of your worries.