Talk about intercepting suspicious packages...
As if the Department of Homeland Security didn't have enough of a credibility problem stemming from its substantive work, it's apparently also got pedophiles handling its public relations.
One of the department's deputy press secretaries, aged 55, was arrested Tuesday for trying to "seduce" someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl but was actually an undercover Florida sheriff's deputy through explicit conversations and "transmission of harmful material" over the Internet, according to a story I just read off the AP Wire.
In artful exercise of discretion that should make us all sleep easier knowing sharp fellows like this one are hard at work protecting our homeland, he supposedly used his work computer, gave the "girl" his government-issued phone numbers, included photos of himself in his office with Homeland Security identification visible and straight-out revealed his name and position.
But I suppose, it's no high-level secret that being a credentialed federal bureaucrat–particularly a smarmy PR lackey–is a potent aphrodisiac for nubile teenage girls who just can't resist unimaginative neckties and shiny security passes.
Seriously, boys, develop a little work ethic: If you're going to be a criminal, at least try and think like one–it might even help you perform your actual jobs with greater, perhaps even serviceable finesse.
And perhaps it's just a byproduct of spending the past 5 or 6 hours in a windstorm of smalltown election results (18 of 24 Wisconsin communities voted yes to "bring the troops home" referendums at last count, by the way), but I can hear the Letterman jokes already: "Yes, little girl, I need you–your country needs you–to help defuse a weapon of mass destruction... in my pants!"
Indeed, I suppose there are worse things to peddle than PR. (Though, granted, not by much.)
One of the department's deputy press secretaries, aged 55, was arrested Tuesday for trying to "seduce" someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl but was actually an undercover Florida sheriff's deputy through explicit conversations and "transmission of harmful material" over the Internet, according to a story I just read off the AP Wire.
In artful exercise of discretion that should make us all sleep easier knowing sharp fellows like this one are hard at work protecting our homeland, he supposedly used his work computer, gave the "girl" his government-issued phone numbers, included photos of himself in his office with Homeland Security identification visible and straight-out revealed his name and position.
But I suppose, it's no high-level secret that being a credentialed federal bureaucrat–particularly a smarmy PR lackey–is a potent aphrodisiac for nubile teenage girls who just can't resist unimaginative neckties and shiny security passes.
Seriously, boys, develop a little work ethic: If you're going to be a criminal, at least try and think like one–it might even help you perform your actual jobs with greater, perhaps even serviceable finesse.
And perhaps it's just a byproduct of spending the past 5 or 6 hours in a windstorm of smalltown election results (18 of 24 Wisconsin communities voted yes to "bring the troops home" referendums at last count, by the way), but I can hear the Letterman jokes already: "Yes, little girl, I need you–your country needs you–to help defuse a weapon of mass destruction... in my pants!"
Indeed, I suppose there are worse things to peddle than PR. (Though, granted, not by much.)
posted by Holly at 1:04 AM
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