Are we sure this isn't a "red state?"

Seven teenagers from Kiel, Wis., in Marquette County are facing 25 charges of illegal hunting for "thrill killing" small game in a decidedly, shall we say, unrefined activity they apparently refer to as "critter beating."

According to reports, this entails going out shining for raccoons or possums on country roads, stunning them with the light, then beating them to death with golf clubs, baseball bats, garden tools, hockey sticks or metal pipes.

OK, I'll admit it, when I heard that on the local news just now, I laughed. And I just laughed again.

But good god, bludgeoning small mammals for fun and sport? When I was a teenager in a dull little town, all we did by way of vehicular shenanigans was go "breading:" buy three-for-a-dollar loaves of bread at Kwik Trip, then drive around town trying to toss the slices frisbee-style onto the windshields of parked cars or into pickup truck beds from the moving car. (Trust me, it's more challenging than it sounds.) Get some imagination, boys.

But it's not their faults, I'm sure. This deviance probably began where so many modern societal ills find their geneses: violent video games.

Oh yes, you know what I'm talking about–it's quite plainly time to ban Whack-a-Mole.